Funny Quotes

How does one conquer fear, Don B.? One takes a frog and sews it to ones shoe, he said. The left or the right? Don B. gave me a pitying look. Well, youd look mighty funny going down the street with only one frog sewed to your shoes, wouldnt you?" he said. One frog on each shoe.

Norbit operates on the principle that vulgarity is automatically funny. Crassness doesn't need a joke attached because it is (in and of itself) the height of hilarity.

Pull out the AK and pop you in your funny bone.

You're a coward, James. You're running away from humanity. You're running away from reality. It won't be funny when they rat-a-tat-tat you down.

The funny thing was, you see, that Mike Fink didn't think of himself as a murderer. He thought of life as a contest, and dying was what happened to those who came out second best, but it wasn't the same as murder, it was a fair fight.

The great thing about being a comedian is that it kind of doesn't matter how you look. It's actually a disadvantage to be too good-looking. There's a Darwinian advantage to being funny. If you're a good-looking fella, you can't be bothered to make up jokes.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

Well, I thought it was funny.

"Just go and feed yourselves on a wide array of products containing high-fructose corn sugar. Zheesh." "That wasn't funny, Evil Mark. It sounded fake and hollow. You're terrible at being ironic, and you've been rehearsing that line, haven't you?"

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadnt made every line funny. Its so depressing."

Christians are a funny lot, aren't they? It doesn't seem to matter what their God does, they'll just keep on loving him regardless.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

Not funny, not funny says she, didn't like it!